I was standing in the middle of nowhere. Looking around me hoping to find an answer to the confusion I was in, all I could see were burned shops and shattered streets.

” Why am I here? How did I get here?” I ask myself in despair. Far away vague in the void, I glance misty shadows as if ghosts rushing towards me. They were a deep shade of red and fiery orange, dancing in the flames.

Burning humans dancing the flames away. People were dashing and stumbling through the streets, hitting themselves and behaving uncontrollably with fire burning their bodies. They were cursing words I’ve never heard of, screeching in pain I’ve never dealt with, and then I happened to see the unspeakable.

”What’s going on?” I asked a person rushing beside me. His eyes were dead and sunken inside of his eyelids I almost passed out.

”Go! Run! It’s too late to heal the bad dead! The world has come to an end!”

I took a century to sink that in. how come everyone was dealing with awful sorts of pain, much more painful than the one before, and I stood in distance, watching it all happen like a horror movie? I needed to wake up from this nightmare! It was too frightening! My eyes couldn’t take it anymore. I focused hard, closed my eyes tight, and tried to get out, as if I was in a simulation, a dark simulation that was too painful to be real.

I dashed to find someone I know. Maybe my family was there, though I didn’t want them to. I glimpsed one of my friends,

”Jack! Jack! Wait up!” I called. When I reached him, he looked at me with dead eyes; he fell to the floor screaming my name. He dug his fingernails in his flesh, pulling it out with so much pain and hurt I’ve never seen. I couldn’t keep watching, I held my face and ran…

All of a sudden, I found myself standing in a glass box. Above it, there was a sink getting out water into the box. The water started getting higher and the oxygen started to get less. This I thought would be such a sweet death compared to what I saw. I took a deep breath and dove inside as if i floated into the sea. I got out of the water and saw a land near that somehow appeared out of nowhere. What happened to jack? Standing by the bay of the land, I see a slender boy, as I focus, its jack. A man much huger, stood in front, pointing his gun at jack’s face. I screech out, but it’s too late. I hear the gunshot, and jack falls down

I woke up frightened. Crying and sobbing into bed. At least I thought, this nightmare came to an end, it seemed to be going on and on. As I recall and visualize it again, I get shivers all through my body. My heart begins to sink, but I freshen up myself and think, at least I am safe now, and so is jack.

 

Advertisements

It was 24th of October, 1994. They thought I was dead. But I wasn’t. They thought that every breath will be my last breath every minute.

 

I was in the car with my step-mother; going to pick up my brother from school. Despite that it was snowing immensely, they still didn’t shut the school that day.

“You love that song, sing it with me!” my step-mother was jumping up and down in her seat, pretending she was happy. But I could feel her grief. She thought I didn’t know that her husband- my father- was on the verge of death, but I just neglected the depression that hid under her incrustation. Also, I neglected that my step-mother barely knew me. My favorite song was her favorite song, what she loved to do was what I loved to do. She was all wrong.

 

Then, the impact moment came. The lights of a coming truck blinded the eyesight of my step-mother, and we slid across the snow, hitting the truck. My head went straight through the glass window. My eyes stung as I saw my step-mother slam her chest into the wheel, no doubt her ribs were crushed; I could hear them snap.

 

I couldn’t open my eyelids. I couldn’t feel my legs. My head felt sticky because it was covered in blood. But my ears worked just fine. I could hear the voice of my shrieking, sick father, the saving sirens, and the crowds mumbling and whispering. But I couldn’t hear or feel my step-mother beside me.

 

They placed my body on a soft bed in what I guessed was an operating room.

“One, two, three…” then a cold circle-like object slammed my chest, electrifying me.

They didn’t understand; I refused to breathe.

They did it again.

And again.

 

When I couldn’t hold it anymore, I flew my eyes open and took a deep breath into my lungs, but the air felt like a blade cutting the flesh of my insides.

 

I heard my father cry about my dead step-mother; but I didn’t. I felt a bit guilty that I didn’t care that much, but it was a fact I couldn’t lie to myself about.

 

After a few months, I was out of the hospital – on a wheel chair – my friends always visited though. I was in full health once more and could finally go to school. My father kept saying of how blessed I am even though my legs are pretty useless now. But it didn’t bother me that I couldn’t run anymore. It didn’t bother me that I couldn’t play with my friends in the playground anymore, or that even I couldn’t go to the bathroom fully independent now. What bothered me was that I forgot; I forgot my childhood. My father said that the memory loss I had was minor; I still remembered my name, school, friends and family, he said those were the things that mattered. But they didn’t know how it feels to be sitting with my siblings, talking about things when we were young, and I’d sit blank-faced in the corner. They’d stare at me and say,

“Don’t you remember, Khloe?” I’d nod my head ‘no’ slightly, and try to smile.

But I couldn’t ignore the feeling tugging into my stomach. I couldn’t help the feeling of the desolation crawling onto my heart.

I forgot how it feels to be happy…

I forgot how it feels to breathe…

I forgot how it feels to feel alive…

White; growing up innocent and sweet. They often kissed my cheek and hugged the life out of me.

“God bless Katy’s newborn!” I’d have them yell around the house. I felt lost, so full of questions I’d end up crying. I felt so lost that all I saw was blank space around me. Everything was going slow, but a warming high-pitched voice and soothing smell told me that white was only the beginning, only the first infant.

 

Blue was the color of everything they got me for my 7th birthday. I hated the color, but my mother – the soothing voice – nudged me not to say, besides, I was already too timid to do so. The girls with me in class didn’t want to talk or play with me; I think their mothers’ told them I have some kind of disease.

 

Orange, the color of my middle school t-shirt. I didn’t know why we had to wear uniforms; why we had to define ourselves. I was so confused. My mother told me it was a normal phase, but that’s what all stereotypes said, and I do not want to become one.

 

Green broccoli, green seaweed, green peas; I hated everything and anything my mom put in my plate. The stereotypes were once more wrong; it was no phase, I was still feeling the same desolation as before. High school strangles me, and I hate it.

 

Red. A new red car. A new life. Kissing my mother goodbye, I rode my car, and drove off to college. A small university by the village never saw it coming, but I got a scholarship there and I couldn’t let it go. As the wind went through my hair, I felt happy and free. I felt my shoulders relax,

“Life here I come.”

 

Black. She said no; she doesn’t love me back. As I rode the car back home, I couldn’t stop thinking of how she rejected marriage proposal once more. Pushing my legs to their maximum strength, I got out of the car and walked to the front door.

 

Violet; the name of my beautiful grand-daughter. I held her weak and innocent figure between my wrinkly arms. I saw her mother’s eyes in hers. Once I heard her cry, I felt the world fall off my shoulders; now I can die a happy man.

 

Yellow, the color of the sand I shall be buried under. That was the only think my mind could trace as I choked alone in my bedroom. Like I said, I died smiling. I didn’t care what lay ahead; heaven, hell, revival, because my life was all an infant from the beginning; white.

Adam and Eve

As I tingled my fingers across the wrinkled photograph, I started recalling. They told me – the angels – what the future we create beyond our hands would be like. About how they would make stories about us, and quote things they thought we said – of what could have been.

 

I woke up to the sound of music – Gabriel was playing the violin beside my bed.

“God is waiting for you in the library.” Instantly, for I cannot discount God, I got up and jogged down our fascinating golden hall toward the library. The library had millions of shelves lining up on top of each other; jammed up with books that Selaphial told me were the future words of what I would say and what the fellows upon my hands would.

“Sit down, Adam,” God pointed to me, “men cannot live alone, and you, for sure, cannot either.” And so I watched him place his fingers on my ribs. As he said, he would create me a companion, out of my ribs, that would always be loyal and committed only to me – he said I must own her.

 

It hurt a smidge, but the fascination of watching him turn a filthy piece of bone into the beautiful black headed figure that stood before me was overwhelming. Her eyes met mine, waiting for me to say something, or was she waiting for me to name her?

“Eve.”

“Eve?” my lord asked
“yes, I just know it.”
“Alright then, Eve it is.” I took her hand and showed her around the place. She was quite, for what I supposed was shyness. When she spoke, she muttered that she loved me, and I said so too, for it was meant to be.

 

My sons and daughters from Eve would be humans like us, that was what Raphael told me. Not devils, angels, or serpents; humans. But Satan was, the lord of all devils, he was jealous because he thought God favorite him; until I came along, and his bad side got the bitter of him.

 

*Satan’s POV*

That filthy human! I had nothing against humans, in fact, they were a beautiful breed, it was only Adam. I hated him. I hated how the angels worshipped him. We were only supposed to worship God, this, I knew, was wrong. I was peeking through the holes of the library door disguised as a mouse when I saw my chance…

 

They were calling her Eve, as I understood; she was Adam’s companion to help him pursue a whole race of humans. I waited for the sun to drown, and went to her room.

“Come with me…” I whispered in her ear sending my words deep in her mind, hypnotizing her. Instantly, she followed me as I took her to the garden. Her eyes bored into mine – she looked artificial. I placed my hands on her rib cage, and my trick began…

 

*Eves POV*

I woke up with my head throbbing, but I still could catch glimpses of last night. It hung in my head like Adam’s rib covering my heart. There were two of me, yes, there were. She stood right in front of me, like a mirror. We stood in deep silence, then, the door knocked, and she jumped out of the window falling into the bushes because Satan warned us not to be seen together.

 

*Adam’s POV*

As I walked along the roses in the garden for fresh air, I noticed Eve standing near the bushes. It was odd of her to be awake at such an early hour so I walked to her.

“Why are you up so early?”

“Huh? Umm… I just woke up,” she sounded hesitant so I gave her a slight smile and nodded, going back inside towards my room.

“Whoa! You scared me! Weren’t you just there?” Eve popped out of her room all of a sudden, scaring me to death. She answered me with something that sounded like she was ‘walking quickly’ and gave me a broad smile. I knew that there was something she was hiding from me, but as she smiled at me, I let her go.

 

By late afternoon, I sat in the dining room with Gabriel, Rapheal, Selaphial and Eve because God told us that we all needed to talk.

“Are you all here?”

“Yes.”
“Eve, you must not lie to me!” his eyes roared over her, making her spill the truth all out.

 

And it hit me. The truth hit me, straight in the face and ripped my heart two pieces far apart. Eve was now Eves – as in two Eves. Satan has managed to ruin everything. They were typical, but God knew who was created first. Though I knew he was going to give Eve a lesson, little did I know that this lesson would ruin me too.

 

For the next two decades, I have been talking to the two Eves, asking them why they trusted Satan, why they let us fall into all of this chaos. I also asked God what he attempted to do, but he only answered me with,

“I’ll leave you fall into your own mistakes so you’ll see how you’ll do without my caring.” I thought the two Eves and I could figure it out, until they both disappeared. As much as I was heart-broken, I was more determined to find them – or as I hopped, only one.

 

I had six ribs left, and those were the days I had to find Eve. God told me that I mustn’t be fooled by the wonders of the world, and that I should return with one rib left, so God could create me another Eve if he had too, but if all ribs were gone, I would be doomed. I chose earth as the first planet to search in, and so I set off.

 

Each day, one rib would disappear, warning me of the time left. As I searched high and low, mountain top and in the deep seas, I was left with five more ribs – four days left. I had to find her.

 

*Satan’s POV*

My eye lay cold and distant on Adam as I watched him wonder around, searching for his beloved Eve. Little did he know how I drained their blood in my hands – only God and I knew. I watched him fall into more and more of my trick; the apple that was about to end his life.

 

*Adam’s POV*

It was delicious. I kept on devouring Every piece of it; it went on and on, nEver ending. I sat under the shadow of the tree, eating the only apple that was on its branch. Magic was all it felt like. Out of nowhere, I felt out of flow, and I felt emptiness. Looking over at me chest, the truth devoured me alive. My ribs, were all gone

All gone.

Instantly, Satan’s laugh covered the place, and Gods words echoed in my ears ‘you mustn’t be fooled by the wonders of the world. I shook my head and I was locked away in my own black hole, with a green, huge serpent guarding the entrance. Gabriel came to my view one last time saying,

“Adam, anything you think, imagine, will come alive. Imagine, imagine the world you could’ve succeeded to form. God sent me to tell you this, Adam; this is how it was supposed to go. Imagine, and the humans will be the infants of your illusions. You fell into your own mistakes, now imagine you didn’t. Imagine the way earth could’ve been, and it will be.”

 

And here I am,  imagining myself making a young girl think about it, telling you how the real story was, how you’re all just made out of a constellation of thoughts and dreams, in the meantime, don’t tell me I didn’t warn you, infants of my illusion.

The Black Forest

”They’ve said it has some magical nature power,” I was sitting in the coffee shop on my way back to work as usual, when I overheard [not eavesdropping!] two men talking about a gigantic forest called ‘The Black Forest’.

”Hey mate, next time, when you’re eavesdropping, stop staring at us,” the man seemed humiliating me rather than angry.

”Sorry, the topic is just overwhelming, but I don’t believe in magic,” they stared at me, like I’ve just fallen from the moon.

” Be careful mate, they say the ones who underestimate the magic of The Black Forest, end up regretting it,” he picked up his coffee, and walked out through the door, eyeing me through his way. Who would believe in magic anyways? I was a twenty-two working, mature adult, no kind of magic, fairies, Santa Claus, vampires or goblins were ever getting into my mind.

 

Obviously, I was an irresponsible, clumsy man. My friends and family would never trust me with their personal belongings; I’d always end up losing them or ruining them. After paying for my coffee, I left the shop, heading home. My apartment looked like the apartment of a sixteen year old in love with football. The walls were lined with pictures of football players, I had statues of them; I admired them. It was already 9:35pm when I was done with all my ‘chores’. Mostly, my chores were; talking on the phone, eating, and probably goofing around. After a while, my head started feeling heavy, and decided it was time to doze off. I headed to bed, and before I knew it, I was already hearing my own snore.

 

Pain. It was all I felt. Huge trees surrounded me, their big falling green leaves brushed over my face.

My mind couldn’t work, and my feet couldn’t move. Every time I stood, I landed on my face. Pictures started playing in my head; fire, water, air, and earth, it was all I could see, hear, and feel. Unable to fight any more, I just laid there, trying to capture images and recall where I was at the moment. Then, it hit me hard in the face; The Black Forest. I was there. But it was beautiful. Instantly, my eyes shifted to the dangling white flowers on the trees and the beautiful, but deadly poisonous Blueberry bushes just above my head as I scrambled up to my feet after I eventually calmed myself down.

 

And once again, I was on my feet, twirling around in circles when what I thought was a shadow appearing across the bushes. My eyes focused on the void, but there was nothing to see. Though, the bushes were still in movement, and I don’t think it was the wind.

 

Then, I saw it again. This time I was sure there was someone around me.

“Please stop! This isn’t a joke!” I shouted not knowing where to look, “come out!” then, an old wrinkly voice played in my mind like it was whispering through crumbled paper,

“Silence.” Did that voice just tell me to shut up? But uncontrollably, I did. And it felt peaceful. I just sat on the green grass, watching the wind swing the bushes playfully in silence like I was watching a silent movie of two cheerful children playing together.

“You, my son, have just passed the first test,” the same voice played in my head, but now I saw him. He was an old man with pale skin wrinkled like a crumbled paper and a crooked nose. His white hair stroked the wind as if he could talk to the air. Not knowing what to do, I stayed silent, like I was put on mute. He continued,

“Silence. Isn’t it so beautiful? But you know, the wind can be very devilish sometimes. Wrecking houses, setting things on fire, but I guess I should leave the fire part to the little mess not-so-happy. Anyways, I am the wind master; you may call me Master Walton.”

“The… wind master?” I was far beyond confused.

“The four elements; fire, water, wind, and earth. Every element has its master, the person to claim it. I, for one, am the wind master. The one who seeks the beauty in silence and the swift moving of the wind.” As I was about to speak, he motioned me to stay silent, so I did. Honestly, I saw wisdom in the old man’s eyes, I saw knowledge, and I wanted to seek that knowledge, I wanted to be the first in line to learn anything that man says out of his mouth.

 

We walked through the forest in total silence, wandering around the beauty of nature. He spoke to me about how silence could sometimes explain much more that words. How animals were much more peaceful than humans because their mouths were not always ranting meaningless words. He told me about how the wind can save lives like washing someone’s tears off their face and putting them into sudden realization to their wise mind part, or end them simply by acting stronger to push someone off a cliff. Wind, I realized, made me feel joy, made me feel relaxed. Also, Master Walton told me how no one was born with anger, and how the wind could, by just blowing across our face, brush away the anger we were never born with anyways.

“Now,” he said after a long walk, “tell me what you have learnt.” I looked at him, boring into his eyes in silence, and smiled faintly at him. Instantly, he looked at me with a bright, proud smile, and broke into dust flying with the wind.

 

“Get up!” I was lying soundless on the grass again when a green eyed middle aged boy appeared in front of me.

“Do you know what you’re standing on? Earth! Then you must stand in a strong posture!” his voice was hard and steady, not shivering one bit.

“How are you?” his question confused me, but I still answered him,

“I’m fine I guess,”

“You guess? Well I’ll keep this short for everything must be simple. Earth master; Shawn,” he reached out his hand and I took it instantly. His grip was firm, very firm.

He continued,

“The ground is strong, and we stand upon it, therefore, everything we touch affects us in some way. Mankind have learnt lots of matters because of earth; pride, not showing our feelings, destroying, caring, it is all from the ground beneath you. One thing you must learn, stay strong. I know you heard this lots of times, but this time it’s different, because this time, you really must stay strong.” He smirked at me as I felt the weights of the world at my shoulders, no, they really were. Two huge rocks were just above my shoulders. As I moaned and screamed as the pain strangled me, I heard his voice echoing in my head, ‘stay strong’. Pictures of my family and friends appeared and it hit me, I must stay strong, for them. Then I blacked out before watching myself yank the rocks away.

 

Was I drowning? I couldn’t tell. But there I was, at the bottom of the water, watching the fish glow in the dark, and breathing absolutely fine. So I swam, pushing every limb in my body into swift motion through the colorless water.

“Come now,” my eyes lifted to her, or should I say, to her tail. My eyes drifted slowly, eyeing her blue shaded tail up to her tanned skin, beautiful face, and bluish soft hair flowing in the water. I took her hand, and we swam together.

 

Blue, master of the water, was one of the most sensitive, understanding and beautiful women I have ever seen. She listened to me as I spoke my heart out. Telling her how my day was, how I reacted when I was sad, how I liked to isolate myself. She listened with such an open heart and understanding mind. She told me, that everything had its too extremes, then she showed me. Now, we were at the bay as she moved her hand upwards making the waves crash and fall. She kept repeating the motion till the ocean was redundantly at a frightening storm with itself. It looked destructive; images of hurricanes flooded my head. I never noticed how one sad motion can affect an entire nation. Then, she lowered her hand, causing the ocean to play at the walls and waves, moving quickly in excitement. It looked beautiful, but it felt wrong. Like a wrong move can end up to destruction. So she explained,

“These are the two extremes, Jacob.” I was surprised how she knew my name,” Never be at an extreme. You must always take things calmly. Never care too much, for it will break your heart, and never be emotionless, for you will break other’s hearts.” Then she made me close my eyes, and dive into my emotions.

 

Opening my eyes once more, I knew it was the last time. I stood in the same spot I woke up in The Black Forest staring at a redhead young girl. As she looked at me, I was pulled inside of her mind. Inside, she had so many thought, I thought about how her mind could take it all without bursting. When her mouth parted to speak, a hurricane of words flooded out. Blood was streaming from her wrists, fire circled us, and she started talking.

“It’s okay to be angry, Jacob. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to wake up one day and not be surrounded by the memories you once lived, it might be painful, but feeling the pain is okay,” she pointed for a spark of fire to touch me. As it did, I felt the pain, but I knew I’ve felt it a lot, almost every day of my life, “you woke up with pain in this spot Jacob, remember? You woke up to life as a baby with pain, you will leave with pain, but pain, Jacob, is beautiful. Once you understand the pain, you only realize that you are the pain, not anything else.” I looked downwards to notice the spark of fire still touching me, but I no longer felt it.

“Fire roams in your head. Every thought is a spark of fire. Don’t let them stay trapped inside, they need oxygen to stay alive, just like you, let them fly, Jacob. Set them free. Speak them out,” so I did. I spoke everything out. Every feeling occurred in my mind, trapped inside. After I was done, I let the wind comfort us – Bloom and I – like what master Walton taught me.

 

I blinked, then, the four of them – Master Walton, Shawn, Blue and Bloom- stood in front of me, behind was the golden gate out of The Black Forest. Master Walton spoke,

“You have learnt the elements to a happy, wise life. You may leave, or stay. But remember Jacob, you either go with one of the two choice; to live in the golden cage- The Black Forest- but a golden cage is still a cage, or to live free to go anywhere, but only surrounded by people who will not understand your wisdom; people who will only trap your dreams.” They parted from the door, expecting me to leave, but I didn’t. I chose to stay. To forever speak my hurricane of words out with Bloom, forever stay calm with Blue, connect strength with emotions with Shawn, and enjoy the silence with Master Walton. The Black Forest was never black; it was, for sure, millions of shades coloring my life.