I sat by the end of a cliff, like the ones in happy ‘ending’ stories. Back to when everything was perfect, as a child, I believed in happy endings. I believed that you receive the good when you give to the good. I believed that when you fell asleep on couch, a magical fairy flies you back to bed. But now, as I sat by the end of a broken, ugly cliff, my mind wandered, and my beautiful garden of imagination, was now dull, ugly, and dark.
Have you ever wondered why people get insecure about themselves? Have you ever wondered what the consequences of insecurity are? And where does insecurity come from anyways? When we were young and happy, no one was insecure. Simply because, as children, we saw souls instead of bodies, we saw light in each other’s eyes instead of what color they were. We felt no stress at all, because we were confident, loyal to one another, and happy. But now, as time wrinkles our faces and crushes our hearts, when you walk past by an acquaintance, all we could see is the comparison between us, and them.
Therefore, we start to wander, as I was, sitting on this cliff. What is she/he better than me in? For one example, when a two married couple is divorced, and one marries another person, the one left behind starts to underestimate him, and dig deep the insecurities out. For another example, insecurity is also present in teenagers, the closest age to children.
Now keep your imagination wide open with me, and picture this; you are standing in your school hallway, you see the boy you like, standing by his classroom, waiting for someone. Intentionally, you start fidgeting with your hair while your friends give you the ‘looks’. Okay, so this is going well, you finally feel confident as a flame of fire burning through the night, and work your legs by past him. You catch his eyes, and he waves. Checkmate, you’ve hit the button, you think. As you pass by and you’re ready to leave, a girl walks to him, kisses him on the check, and the walk, hands locked together like your heart once was.
With a broken heart, and anxiety and insecurity fills your body, you decide to take a long walk. While walking, breaths of disappointment are heard here and there. And soon enough you end up sitting on a cliff end, watching the leaf of a plant next to you.
And right now, I am you, and you are me. I sat by the end of a cliff, watching a raindrop, on the green leaf beside me. It looked like the picture you’d get out your camera to capture right away, but I knew my heart would capture it anyways. The raindrop was nearly transparent and delicate as I’ve ever seen. It looked like it was moving, but it was slipping so slowly, it tricked your eyes to think it wasn’t. As the raindrop nearly closes to the end of the leaf, the leaf bows forward, as if gesturing the raindrop out. I thought at once that this pattern happened almost every day, it’s just us, who were too naïve not to think about the things that truly matter. Then, the raindrop slips, and falls, my eyes tracking it as it was falling off the cliff, until it was gone out of sight. In some ways, I was that raindrop. To light to weigh down anyone, but the weighs of the world were at my shoulders. To delicate, for that everyone could shape. And so, I let myself swiftly slip, falling after the raindrop, where too delicate people lay, cold, and pale.